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Dora Wilson: Du/Sie?

I don't know, I've been here too long, and when I was in Germany I didn't use a car that much, but in my opinion strangers don't stop to help like they do here. People are more to themselves. People would be more inclined to help themselves and call the auto club rather than to burden a stranger. For example, where my mother lives, that's in a house, it's in a four-family house, and they've lived there for more than 30 years in the same house, and the women, they've known each other for more than 30 years, and instead of calling them by their first name, Hella and Frieda and whatever their names are, they still say to each other Mrs. Schultz and Mrs. Schwartz. They are so formal about it, and after 30 years you'd think you'd finally say "Frieda" to your neighbor or.... And also, I don't know, the Germans are more reserved, to themselves, also during the week they go for example to eat at someone's place--for example, I often invite people over to eat, or like you, you invite students and various people over for a party and everyone brings something to eat. They like that in America, to be together and--"If your mother's visiting, you can bring her along, or you can bring your husband, you can bring," as you have said, "whomever you will--I don't care." In Germany they wouldn't do that. First of all, they have to be of the same age. Then maybe they're allowed only to come to coffee,1 but never to a main meal, something that I often do here with my friends. "Come by for dinner, we'll do steak or fish or whatever." And in Germany they're invited more to coffee; also with relatives on a birthday, they come more to coffee, then they go back home afterward. And they don't have so many people overnight in Germany. It's always only for the afternoon where people come by, and maybe for supper2, and then they go back home. Here, I say to friends, "Come for the weekend," when they live far away. "Stay the weekend," and they (Germans) think that's strange. Just like my sister, she always writes me, she says--my sister is younger than I, she is 43--and she always writes, "You always have company." And her husband Wilfred has just turned 40, and it's the first time that she's had a real party with lots of people. Otherwise it's always the small family circle at birthdays. I think they would never invite someone over without a specific reason. There's always got to be a reason, either a birthday or a housewarming or an open house for a business, they would never say, "Oh, what are you doing next weekend. Why don't you come over next weekend, and we'll eat and get a movie or something."